Alone in Regrets

Visions of our future
drift through my mind
scattered and broken are they
through trials and tests of time
feelings of abandonment
though you'd never really left
and dreams I'd seemed to carry
alone on my shattered back
where were you
when times were so hard
for there next to me
your smile never faultered
and your carefree never dimmed
had you ever worried as I
or wondered if we'd survive
or had you taken for granted
the pain I carried
and the way I struggled on
here in the present
with fear in my eyes
can you feel my unhappy
resting at your side
will you notice how I'm writhing
or plant excuses at my feet
will you learn to pull your weight
or leave me to defeat
how long can this last
when I feel so beaten down
alone in my worries
forever seeking a crown
of approval, of your thanks
sheltered in regret
will you ever be enough
to calm my storming head

Last Kiss

Bite my lip, crave the kiss.

Razors dancing for liquid life,

nestled in a cradle of skin.

Falling from my fingertips,

prick my thumb like a thorn,

and rest upon my shattered hip

A breath of lonely in my ears,

sighs of relinquishment

lingering in the air.

Welcoming this gloomy touch,

engulf my flesh,

make this enough.

Breed the pain.

Shelter the woes.

Longing fill my breathless howls.

As the eve grows dimmer still,

ease my suffering

with lifeless chills.

Caress my being

in a hallowed light.

Crimson blankets of what was

surrounding every inch.

Now I've finally broken free,

forever lying in my peace.

Shackles no longer

binding my heart.

My eyes are open

but, color is gone

all shapes forgotten

and hurt is no more.

A smile playing on my lips,

death came to claim

my rosy kiss.

Your Shining Star

I can see you struggle

with each passing day

knowing theres nothing

with which to ease your pain

I'm holding out my hand

waiting for you to grab hold
It catches then slips
but I won't let go
I'll keep you close
and help you grow
'till you're strong enough
to stand on your own

Loving You

Would it make me feel better
if you say I look alright?
Would it make it all easier
if i just turn off the lights?
So you don't have to see me
hurting like this
and I swear that I'll not let us die
I just need a little time to figure this out.
My worst thoughts and worries
are all coming to life.
And though I know that you'll be with me
through the toughest and the best of things,
I still feel the pit in my stomach
growing stronger in fear.
So I'm gonna hide my face,
and close my eyes for a while.
To the moon and to the stars
to a place not quite so far,
that you can't catch me before i fall
and bring me back
to hold me in your arms again
and whisper of how you are longing
to be free with me
for eternity
we could sit here intertwined like this
simply lay and reminisce
of times that were better than they appeared
really we don't have much
but just each other feeling close
trembling from the heat and cold
of our bodies telling stories
all through the bitter nights
as you wipe the tears from my face
I fall deeper into your embrace
making love and sweet memories
washing away the pain
drowning out my sorrows
with your touch

and i hide my face
behind my eyes I'm starting to fly
to the moon and to the stars
to a place not quite so far
that you don't catch me as i'm falling
and bring me back
to hold me against your chest
and rest to the beating of our hearts
finally feeling free just to be
for eternity
Here with you is all i sought
to know your warmth
by the fires dancing light
wrapped  in blankets
up to our noses
fighting off the world
and all their fake red roses
their promises of better things
oh i know too well they cannot be
the best is where i am right now
fitting in your arms so perfectly
we've made it so far together
holding hands through time and space
continuing our loving state
overcoming tests and trials
others drug us through
just to stretch our strength
to test our devotion
we know where our loyalties lie
in the time that's passed
we've seen pain and conquered sorrow
surpassed misery and land here on our feet
our affections have come to last
I won't hide my face anymore
or close my eyes to cry
you've seen me for all i am
holding me helping me stand
together to the moon, to the stars
never straying very far
holding strong so we don't fall
back to reality, safe and bright,
and caress each other until mornings light
freely loving you
for eternity

The Final Chapter

My head is screaming you're no good

my heart is crying as it should

you're face engraved in my mind

though I know I need to leave it behind

I'm worth so much more

of this I am too sure

but I don't know how to leave you

and its more than my heart can stand to do

you've got your claws gripping deep

and I've kept hoping you're something to keep

I know now that what I see

is just a fragment of reality

my veins are popping and my chest is bruised

all this is part of your daily muse

to get me to stay and love at all costs

I'm fighting a battle I long ago lost

to forget would be utter bliss

but it's hard to erase that one first kiss

truly I've been blind to see

what you really do to me

I've given you all that I can

so why then is here where we stand

You had your vices and I had mine

I thought they would smooth over time

It's really over this time around

I've finally touched the cold hard ground

I cant take this any more

grab your coat and find the door

you've taken all my sanity

there's nothing left here for me

walk out and go quietly now

get your stuff and just skip town

this is time it's really the end

don't even try to pretend

I tried everything i could

you even said you understood

really you were all just lies

clever words meant to disguise

the things you did to make it seem

like you were surreal like a twisted dream

you've taken your turn

and heard my words

now take me final plea

and just be done forever with me

Extacy

your hugs are like coke
your kisses are like speed
your love is like heroine
without you near
I can't breathe
your voice is like meth
your smile is like weed
your touch is like Extacy
without you here
I'm shedding tears
you are my drug
my indulgence of choice
the one the only
just for me
your skin feels like velvet
your eyes look like stars
your body is like porcelain
i'm right here, never far
your emotions are a roller coaster
your laugh is my sun
your arms are my castle
it kills me now,
that we are done